I get asked about my brother a lot. Most of the time I don’t mind, and I explain to them how his “college” works, and I laugh when they inevitably make the joke that its a cult, and I smile when they ask me if I want to be a cowboy, too. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind doing any of this. I just don’t think these are the important questions to be asking.
One major obstacle I’ve encountered happened this year. My brother went to a college with an isolationist policy. Now, from what I’ve seen, most people aren’t half as much concerned with that as they are at the thought of Sam slaughtering pigs as part of his education. But the isolationist policy is 1000 times worse than whatever butchering my brother has in store.
For some backstory, Sam and I are really close. Lots of people think I just copy off what he does, playing tennis, taking the same classes, and joining the Speech and Debate team. But we genuinely like the same things, which makes us so close. So not seeing him for 6 months, not being able to text or call him unless he texts or calls me, and just being the only child is really hard for me. And it only seems to get worse. In August, he’d send me pretty detailed letters every week or so. Now, I get an envelope holding a 30-page essay with margin notes about once a month. I don’t want to have to read some complex text about the psychology of a bird’s brain (the last essay) to know what my brother’s doing. I know he’s probably trying to hint at some deeper message that somehow represents his current state of mind, but I’m frustrated that he can’t just call me and tell me, I’m frustrated at being the only child, and I’m frustrated that he gets to be in California learning how to be self-sufficient, and that I’m stuck here. That sounds selfish, and maybe I am being selfish, but I thought by 7 months into the school year I wouldn’t still feel this frustrated.