Assignment 20 - hannah whaley - how to piss people off

As I've met a variety of new people in high school, I have discovered an amazing talent of mine. It's something so innate that I have to alter my behavior to prevent it. I excel at pissing people off. Somehow, the words that spew out of my mouth - like vomit - are almost always phrased in the exact perfect way so that a completely innocent thought is portrayed in a judgmental, rude way. However, I have come to recognize the step that lead to my pissing people off. Here's how to do it yourself!  First, take a random, well-meaning sentence in the appropriate setting. For example, somebody sneezes. A possible response is "Bless you." However, the next step is to think of a response in which you are trying to be helpful, such as "Would you like a tissue?" Next, alter the phrasing so that it seems as if you are being judgmental. In this case, change "Would you like a tissue?" to " You look like you need this tissue." This makes the helpful action of giving them a tissue seem a little rude, as you're inherently pointing out a flaw in their appearance, (them having a booger). Lastly, change your tone of voice. This is the most important part because any sentence, no matter how rude, can seem innocent if you say it sweetly and with a kind face. Instead, you have to have a completely straight face and use a tone in which the you in the sentence is emphasized and try to overall sound like a jerk. There we go, that's how to piss people off! I do it naturally with little to no effort but maybe if you practice enough you can try to reach somewhere close to my level.