Junior year. Where to begin.
I remember the sound of the Ellis knocking on my car window before school so we could do our Calculus homework. I remember the smell of my backpack after I spilt coffee in it one dark November morning. I remember the sun coming through my bedroom window on Saturdays, and I remember hiking two weeks ago and only thinking about the leaves on the ground, the dirt on the path, and the rocks I stepped over. I remember feeling sad and then listening to sad music to make it worse. I remember the moment I won the last point of my finals match in a tennis tournament, and how bittersweet it felt to know I could never go back to that moment. I remember the sound of my brother on the phone, and I remember how it felt to hear about his new life. I remember toasting frozen waffles in the morning, and I remember boiling ramen noodles at night. I remember driving myself home from tennis, and I remember not wanting the solitude to end, so I remember pulling out of my driveway and driving past my house, then past my neighborhood, until I was past Lexington. I remember the drama. I remember ignoring someone for weeks and then receiving a text from them and forgetting all about it. I remember writing paragraphs, deleting it all, and continuing to play the charade. I remember phone calls at night that made me feel stupid by morning, and I remember lying in bed listening to the same song over and over again. I remember the sound of birds in the morning reminding me it's springtime. I remember being so consumed by a bad mood that if anyone talked to me I was sure to yell at them. But I remember more good moods, where everything I said or heard seemed hilarious. I remember the oven beeping after Ellis and I made cupcakes, and I remember the sun streaming through the windows when discussion turned to yelling in Mr. Logsdon’s 1st period. I remember my friends telling me to let go of these little things, and not every argument has to be the hill I die on. I remember that the same blue Chevy drives in front of me on the way home from school, and I remember the sound of the rain on my windshield distracting me from the green light in front of me. I remember junior year, but I remember how it made me feel more.
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