Assignment 8- Jasir Rahman- A Smorgasbord of Personal Information

Fears:  Death, Rejection, failure, log kya kahenge (what will people think)
Annoyances:  Ignorance, lack of fairness
Accomplishments:  good academic standing, authored gun education resolution passed by Kentucky Medical Association, decent debater (at least in KY), soccer state semis- come out and support, Wednesday at 8:00 at Station
Confusions:  the morality of some people (as in why is one racist, sexist, ignorant, etc...)
Sorrows:  the entirety of freshman year, breaking collarbone last year, not being more ambitious, not preserving past relationships, being all too cognizant of my flaws, lack of confidence
Dreams:  getting into a prestigious school, not being alone for the rest of my life
Idiosyncracies:  have an unexplainable urge to break off plastic clip on mechanical pencils
Risks:  Coolidge Scholars application, JFK Profiles in Courage Essay Contest, SVT Research Fellowship application
Beloved possessions: then and now- pair of headphones
Problems:  Time (lack thereof or lack of management)

As I apply for various scholarships, which (if attained) will inevitably end up on another sheet of paper to be scrutinized to see if I get the privilege of paying tens of thousands of dollars to a University, I find it hard to see why I, of all the other fantastic and amazing people applying, deserve to be chosen.  I don't have perfect grades or test scores, I'm not particularly fantastic at any of my extracurricular endeavors.  So why try?

I have recognized that such belief is inherently flawed, as my own belief that I will never get a scholarship or admission to a good school before I have even made an attempt creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If I don't think I am worthy enough, I will stop trying to be worthy, thus destroying my chances of attaining my goals.  Sometimes I wonder whether or not recognizing the flaw in that thinking will actually end up paying off.  Am I destined to the same fate regardless of my own actions?  I suppose it is impossible to tell.