During the past decade, misinformed environmentalists have distracted the public from an otherwise obvious truth. The simple answer to climate change is none other than the common sea turtle. According to the World Wildlife Foundation, "nearly all species of sea turtle are classified as endangered." Similarly alarming is the increasing rate at which sea levels are rising.
There must be a connection between sea turtles and sea levels. It would be reasonable to assume fewer sea turtles means less displacement of ocean water. By this logic, global sea levels should be decreasing. But here we are faced with an unprecedented issue: garbage is replacing turtles in the world's oceans. It is no coincidence that more waste is present in the oceans as turtles disappear from these precious ecosystems. With fewer turtles consuming the oceans’ trash, the waves seem to be made more often of waste than of sparkling salt water.
So what is this simple answer to climate change? To end increasing sea levels, ocean waves of waste, and the near-extinction of sea turtles, we must simply augment the natural sea turtle population. Breeding turtles in captivity and releasing them is not a time- or cost-efficient measure. And the moral implications of forcing sea turtles into rapid breeding to mass-produce the garbage-eaters are hotly debated. Innovators in Silicon Valley are in the early stages of developing turtle-replacing robots, which would patrol the world’s oceans in search of trash. The “eTurtles,” as they are called, will be powered by small, high-efficiency solar panels as well as the garbage they consume. Sally, an islander who sells seashells by the sea shore, has her doubts about these robot sea turtles, but assures us that “looking into the clear water and seeing swimming Roomba vacuums will be worth it, as long as our oceans are preserved.”
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